Our Breastfeeding Journey

Assalam ladies. ^_^

Well okay. May be this entry is not everyone's cup of tea. But hey. I guess there's no harm in sharing, right? ;) This might turn up useful for new moms out there. ^_^ Agak berat untuk I tulis entry ni sebenarnya. Sebab....right until this moment, I'm still struggling with breastfeeding.

Preparation-wise before birth, macam-macam I baca pasal breastfeed. Breastpump pun awal-awal lagi dah beli...siap order from US lagi. I nakkkkkkk sangat breastfeed anak sampai umur dua tahun (as described and taught by Islam). Positive mind. That's what the trainer in Parentcraft class said.

'breastfeeding is nature but it is a skill that requires practice for both mom and newborn' 

-Breasfeeding is Sunnah on youtube

Mari mengimbau 5 bulan lepas pada malam Sofia lahir. Malam tu I was too tired to breastfeed. I tried few times tapi fail because Sofia tak dapat latching and suck betul-betul. Pelik sangat. Tapi sabar lagi. But then ada nurse datang cakap, 'if she can't breastfeed tonight, it's okay cause newborn usually boleh tahan without milk for (if I'm not mistaken) for few days'. Lega but worried cause she should have drink milk. I risau kalau Sofia lapar. Then my mom and I discovered that I actually have inverted nipples. Yeah...if you go to lactation consultant, they will say, 'it is BREASTfeeding, not NIPPLEfeeding'. Yeah right. For my case, sudah lah inverted, pendek pulak tu menyebabkan my baby tak boleh suck langsung. 

Source

Source

Then I teringat the above diagrams from my book on how baby latching on breast. Clearly it shows that in order for a baby to express milk from the breast, the baby needs to hold the nipple using both her tongue and lelangit. Remember I said my nipples are short. Heh. Rupa-rupanya that's why Sofia tak dapat suckle. Sedih sangat masa tu. Lepas tu. Sofia masuk pulak ke phototherapy sebab jaundice. Lagi la susah nak train her to latch sebab time constrains. So what I did, I use breastpump untuk expressed out the milk. Memula datang berlenggang ke Nursery untuk breastfeed Sofia. Tapi just imagine, kami feed dia sampai three freaking hours just nak bagi susu. Huhuhu. Sofia tak pandai latch lagi. Bayangkan...kita ingat dia dah kenyang and tertidur, kita bagi kat nurse dalam phototherapy unit tu, tapi baby bangun balik sebab lapar. Then nurse tu bagi balik baby kat kita suruh feed lagi. Penat and sedih sangat. Huuu. Then hubby cakap, "kita bawa breastpump time feeding. If Sofia still tak boleh latch, kita pump, and bagi sikit-sikit guna syringe"

Hubby held Sofia while I pumped. T_T Kesian sangat sampai tertidur dua-dua.

Penat sangat masa tu. Dengan sakit badan lagi...dengan sedih feed tiga jam baby tak kenyang-kenyang...dengan Sofia asyik tertidur je sebab Jaundice...dengan nurse asyik datang sibuk check baby latch ke tak...picit sana..picit sini. Sedih sangat. Masa feed kat nursery ni...selalu menangis fikir baby tak dapat susu and kesian tengok dia telanjang tidur bawah lampu phototherapy. 

Fed her using syringe

Was staring at her mom, wondering why she still feel hungry. Huhuhu.

Cabaran anak jaundice ni...is baby cepat tertidur. Kejap je feed dah tidur. Susah nak establish feeding. Tapi since dah pump, rasa lega lah jugak...at least she drank milk. Bila dah discharge from hospital, lain pulak cabarannya sebab nak ajar baby latch-on the breast...direct feed la kan. Tapi...same problem we faced earlier pasal nipple tu. Then my mom cakap, "Kak, mama lupa nak cakap...mama dulu pun inverted macam kakak jugak. Mama guna puting Doctor Baby letak kat nipple. Biar baby suck puting tu. Nanti lama-lama nipple tu panjang and baby boleh direct feed," I risau pulak if pakai puting tu nanti baby nipple confusion. Tapi my mom cakap, "InsyaAllah tak confuse. Korang dulu macam tu jugak. Nak je nipple balik. Nanti mama carikan," 

Doctor Baby teats. Lembut macam original nipple. :)

OMG...you know what. That was a pretty awesome idea. I used Doctor Baby teats tu kat nipple then Sofia suck kat situ. Alhamdulillah after two weeks or so...I can direct feed her. Solve satu masalah. Then timbul pulak masalah lain. Sofia macam susut badan. Macam kecuttt je badan dia. I was thinking...cukup ke tak susu ni. I kept my positive mind. Cakap "cukup...cukup" kat diri sendiri. Tapi day by day she looks even smaller. Paed cakap berat turun. Siap ingat Sofia premature lagi. Padahal sofia lahir full term. Can you imagine...lahir-lahir berat 2.74kg. First checkup 2.56kg. Second checkup 3.00kg. Doctor dah risau sebab kenaikan berat badan Sofia terlalu lemah. 

Sofia during her second week of life. Dah mula nampak kecut.

Lepas second checkup, doctor cakap..."if berat tak naik dalam dua minggu lagi...meaning susu tak cukup...and you have to MAY BE introduce formula milk". Ya Allah...sedih sangat masa tu. Down. Sebab I nak sangat fully breastfeed Sofia. Lepas tu I cari articles semua berkaitan ni...macamana nak tahu baby tak cukup susu. There's one article from SusuIbu on that. But it couldn't satisfied my curiosity. Until one day I terbaca one article. But sorry I really forgot kat mana I baca. There are some signs of baby not having enough milk. Here are the signs from the readings and from my personal experience.

1. Poor wight gain (Lahir:2.74kg ke week2: 2.56kg ke week6: 3.00kg)

2. Muka sentiasa kelihatan seakan-akan risau

Muka risau & badan susut

3. Tidur tak lena disebabkan angin dalam perut (despite of bedung & telon/yuuyee)

4. Kerap menangis tanpa sebab yang pasti (lepas tukar diapers ke apa)

5. Long period of latching. 

My angel at 6weeks of her life. Was mistaken for a premature. Poor baby. T_T

Sofia kalau latching dulu...berjam-jam. Nasib baik time tu guna puting Doctor Baby. Takde lah sore nipple ke apa. Tapi sangat pelik. Tapi masa tu cuma fikir sebab dia jaundice, dia kerap tertidur time feeding. So biarkan je la latch lama-lama. But girl...that was wrong. I was sooo stupid for not even realize yang anak tak cukup susu. Sedih. Huuu.

Sofia pada hari kejadian. She was crying out loud. T_T

Sampai satu ketika, Sofia menangis tak berhenti dari pagi sampai malam....panic dan stress sangat sebab tak tahu penyebab. Macam-macam dah I buat supaya dia tak nangis. Last-last dah give up...I called my mom...since my MIL masa tu takde kat rumah. Then mom datang rescued. She knew my situation well...and cakap..."Kakak, kita bukan tak sayang anak. Memang kita nak bagi yang terbaik untuk anak. Tapi kesian dia tak cukup susu. Lapar sampai berangin-angin perut dia. Menangis tak berhenti. Takpe lah kita bagi dia formula dulu," I was crying like crazy. I called husband...crying and seeking his opinion. He said, "takpelah Ana...kesian kat Sofia. Minta tolong mama belikan susu. Kesian dia," 

You know...it was a big and hard decision. I was crying tanpa segan silu. Sedih sangat tengok Sofia menangis lapar and bila direct feed, susu tak keluar langsung. Meraung Sofia as if cakap..."Im hungry ibu...please feed me...please," T_T

I ikut my mom beli susu tapi I duduk dalam kereta dengan Sofia dan adik-adik. Malam tu...for the first time, Sofia minum formula milk. We bought S-26 Gold trial pack sebab S26 ni memang elok naikkan badan baby. Dan malam tu Sofia tidur dengan lena sekali. 

Memang masa bagi formula tu baru dua hari lepas checkup minggu ke-6. Jadi tak sampai dua minggu pun tempoh yang paed bagi. Tapi nak buat macamana. Better bagi formula bila diri ni tak mampu nak produce susu. Kesihatan anak tu lagi penting dari ego ibu ni nak fully breastfeed. Betul tak? T_T

Tapi I masih breastfeed Sofia. Sebab I nak dia dapat semua yang I boleh bagi kat dia even bukan 100%. I suka tengok mata dia masa direct feed. Heaven sangat. So after two weeks, follow up dengan paed, Sofia dah naik 4kg. Alhamdulillah. Naik mendadak dari 3.0kg dua minggu sebelumnya.

Sofia dah 4kg. Muka mengantuk kena pergi hospital awal pagi.

She's a cry-baby-no-more. ^_^

Hajat di hati kalau boleh nak kembali fully breastfeed. Tapi confidence level nak fully breastfeed langsung takde walaupun keinginan tu ada. Susu memang merudum. Tak tahu mana salahnya. Macam-macam milk booster I tried. Masa hari kejadian tu I tried Shaklee, Jamu, Halba (fenugreek), susu+almond+madu+kismis blend, horlicks, and also susu kambing. All at once. Menyebabkan body tak dapat terima dan tak dapat produce lagi. I swear I takkan buat macam tu lagi. Now sangat fobia takut nak try macam-macam. And I've tried longan, lobak putih, jantung, etc etc. But takde effect. Huuu. Tapi takut-takut tu...I'm now on my last resort...drugs. I tengah cuba Domperidone. I have to take this for 5 days. Hari ni hari ke tiga. I ikhtiar je selagi I mampu. Kalau tak dapat jugak, harus redha yang I takde rezeki nak fully breastfeed Sofia.

My dear baby at three month old. ^_^

Apa-apa yang jadi semua dah ditentukan oleh-Nya. Kan? Jadi I ikhtiar dan cuba je. Selebihnya I serahkan pada Nya. Asal Sofia sihat Alhamdulillah. ^_^

Sekarang Sofia dah lima bulan 4 hari. Semoga Sofia membesar dengan sihat dan pintar. Dan jadi anak yang soleh. :)

Adorable little angel of mine. ^_^

I really wish...from the bottom of my heart, you girls, new mom out there to be able to fully breastfeed your baby until the child is two years old. Susu ibu adalah susu terbaik. It's Allah creation. Nothng can compare to His creation. With it contains a lot of benefits for your baby. Berusalah selagi boleh. Andai kata tak boleh, dan dengan persetujuan suami, carilah alternative. I doakan semua berjaya dalam breastfeeding. InsyaAllah I nak try for second child pulak nanti. :)

So. That's it for now. I harap entry I ni tak menyakiti mana-mana pihak. Cuma pengalaman yang I think worth it to share. :) Sebagai penutup....terimalah gambar terbaru dari cik adik tembam sorang ni. Gambar last week. Masih fresh. Hehe.

Puas tak baca entry yang ibu tulis? hehehe -Sofia-

Okay. That's all for now. Till next time. Taaaa! ^_^

XOXO,
Liyana SCR